Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Randomize
