So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
