Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize