he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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