i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
this just has baby written all over it
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
