she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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