I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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