I just saw a hot homeless man
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
