eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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