I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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