if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
