Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
