i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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