i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
