Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
