I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
