Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i out mim tonsoeep
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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