sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
