his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
