You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize