Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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