dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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