You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize