paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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