Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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