"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
