Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
