She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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