do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
