so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you win again, gameday.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
