u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
