on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
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