so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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