but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
