I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize