I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
