I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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