first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
