he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's shark week go big or go home
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
