can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
