am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize