And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
