So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
