so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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