conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
