There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize