Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize