Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
