At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
the raccoons are back...
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