so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
