I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I didn't shave. On purpose
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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