I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Randomize
