I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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