He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
