Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
