If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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