im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
