Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
