ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
sarcasm needs its own font
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
