I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
it hurts more in the daytime
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
