I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
